AIRSHIP CRUISE WITH ABNEY PARK

I have just returned from the adventure of several lifetimes. Waikiki was the tropical paradise you dream of. A word to the wise: the stuff in the coconut shell they pass round is brewed raw and continues to ferment, even after quaffing. China was dirtier than expected but the food was exquisite, as were the silks. Istanbul lived up to its reputation and Jeffers nobly threw himself between me and the irate harem guards. Good chap, he'll be sadly missed. London was refined as you would expect. The tour of the newly opened Dorchester House was an unexpected treat. Things went a little awry in the Jurassic, where my partner, the Marquess of Lamonte, tripped and fell. I managed to free myself from the ankle binding while she held the Tyrannosaur off with her parasol and a barrage of frankly uncourtly language. Unfortunately this enraged the beast and she met a sad end. As the beast snapped at her parasol caught in a palm tree, I made my escape.
Regrettably this incident delayed me and I missed Ophelia's departure. Fortunately I had made contingency arrangements with my chrononautically talented friend, Lord Morrow of Grafton, who's pocketwatch and temporal distress beacon worked wonders.
I am comfortably ensconsed in his lounge as I write. In closing, I thoroughly recommend this adventure but advise taking at least one nonessential manservant along.